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The Dog Had Better Waterproofing Than Our Marriage Did
Two towels were not enough. What actually worked had been sitting three feet away, under a dog, for six months.
The part nobody says out loud
Two years of good nights, lost to a laundry problem.
I am going to say the thing plainly, because pretending it was not a thing is how my husband and I lost about two years of good nights.
I squirt. A lot. When we worked out that I could, it was one of the best things that had happened to us in a long time. And roughly a month later, it quietly turned into a laundry problem.
Here is what actually happens. You finish. You are lying there. And instead of falling asleep tangled up in each other, one of you is up stripping the bed at midnight, hunting for the spare set, starting a wash so the mattress does not begin to smell. The other one is lying on a cold wet patch saying it is fine.
Nobody photographs this part of the evening. It is the entire reason this product exists.
My husband's version of this story is much shorter. He says he never once minded doing the laundry. He also says he noticed, long before I did, that we had started skipping Tuesdays.
Because the laundry is not the problem. The laundry is annoying and survivable.
The problem is the hesitation. Nobody says it out loud. You just quietly do it less.
It is a Tuesday. You both have work in the morning. And one of you thinks, without ever saying it: not tonight, I do not want to deal with it afterwards.
That is what a wet spot actually costs you. Not the sheets. The number of times you say yes.
At our age there are already enough reasons to say no. A long day. A bad back. Someone else awake in the house. We did not need one more, and we certainly did not need one that turned out to be solvable, permanently, in an afternoon.
There is also the boring, expensive part that my husband raised roughly once a month. A mattress is one of the most expensive things in the house. Liquid gets down into it far faster than most people think, and once it is in the foam it does not come back out. You do not smell it for a year. Then you do, and it is not fixable.
Seven things we crossed off
Everything we tried first.
Every couple in this situation goes through roughly the same list, in roughly the same order. We went through all of it.
Tried 01
One bath towel
It soaks maybe one round, then it is a cold heavy rag in the middle of the bed. It also will not stay where you put it.
Tried 02
Two bath towels
Which sounds like twice the coverage and is really one towel plus a seam down the middle for everything to run into.
Tried 03
Old sheets we did not care about
Cotton does not stop liquid. It delays it and then hands it straight to the mattress anyway.
Tried 04
A plastic mattress protector
This one technically works, and it is the worst of the lot. It crinkles. Every movement sounds like somebody unwrapping a sandwich. You cannot stay in the moment while the bed is making that noise.
Tried 05
Puppy pads
Yes, really. They are small, they tear, and something about them ends the evening faster than the mess ever did.
Tried 06
Hospital Incontinence Pads
When you're frustrated, you resort to things like that. It actually works, but it's totally unromantic.
Tried 07, and this is the expensive one
Just accepting it
And that's the most expensive option, because what you're really accepting is doing it less often, doing it more carefully, or ruining the expensive mattress.
Here's how the love blanket works. Spread it out, have fun, take it off. Done!
Then I looked at the dog
The fix had been in the living room for six months.
We have a dog called Murphy. He is not allowed on the sofa, and he is always on the sofa, so at some point we gave up and bought him a waterproof blanket to lie on so he would stop ruining the cushions.
It had been doing its job perfectly for about six months. Sitting there in plain sight, about three metres from the exact problem it would have solved.
This is not a clever business origin story. It is me realising that the dog had better waterproofing than our marriage did.
So we made one for us. The first version worked. Completely waterproof. Nothing came through. No midnight sheet change, for the first time in two years.
And I still did not like it. It felt like equipment. Like something clinical that gets brought into a room for a reason, and everybody in the room knows the reason.
That mattered far more than I expected. Because a thing you are slightly embarrassed by is a thing you put in a drawer. And a thing you put in a drawer is a thing you do not use on a Tuesday.
So we made it again. Bigger. Softer. Flannel fleece on one side, sherpa on the other, and the waterproof layer hidden in the middle where you cannot feel it and, more importantly, cannot hear it. It does not crinkle. It does not slide around. It goes in the washing machine and it goes in the dryer.
Then it stopped being about us
Most of the reviews were not even about the reason I made it.
Couples were using it for lube and massage oil, which ruins sheets faster than I ever did. Women were using it through the first two nights of a period so they could stop sleeping on a towel. Plenty of people bought it for sex and then admitted, a little sheepishly, that it mostly lives on the sofa now because it is the best blanket in the house.
The one we ended up making
Love Blanket Pro
Regular price $150
Or $90 for one. Queen and King.
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White Cream
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Midnight Black
2 year leak proof guarantee. 30 night trial. Free shipping.
Ships in plain, unmarked packaging. Nothing on the outside says what is inside, or who it is from.
What is actually in it
Three layers, and one of them you never notice.
- Three layers. 250GSM flannel fleece on top, 210GSM sherpa underneath, and a waterproof membrane sealed between them.
- Silent. No plastic layer you can hear. This is the single thing people mention most after their first night with it.
- Certified OEKO-TEX Standard 100. Tested for harmful substances. It is against your skin for a reason.
- Machine washable and dryer safe. Delicate cycle, 30 to 40 degrees, low spin, no fabric softener.
- 4.7 out of 5 across 1,474 reviews on the Love Blanket Pro.
- A 2 year leak proof guarantee, a 30 night trial, and your money back if it is not for you.
What it looks like in practice
Stop doing laundry at midnight.
The liquid stays on top. You fold the blanket up, put it in the wash in the morning, and go back to sleep in a bed that is still dry.
Regular price $150
Or $90 for one. Queen and King.
Sleep on it for 30 nights. If it is not for you, send it back.
What people write to us about
Four things the reviews keep saying.
★★★★★
Major squirts multiple times with no leaks on the bed!
Karl Y.
★★★★
My girlfriend squirted so much and her bed was still dry afterwards. I just gave 4 stars and not 5 as it takes a long time to dry and she wants to use it again every day
Jayden E.
★★★★★
we loved it so much had to get a second to keep on hand so we never had to wait for the wash.
Melanie O.
★★★★★
Pleasantly surprised at how good this was, swiftly delivered, well packaged and presented.
Gav E.
The one honest complaint
It takes a while to dry. I would rather tell you myself.
It is a thick three layer blanket with a waterproof membrane inside it, so one dryer cycle is sometimes not enough. Some people run it twice.
That is the trade off for it being genuinely thick and genuinely soft, instead of thin and plasticky. I would make the same choice again. But it is real, and it is the reason for the next part.
The most common thing our repeat customers do is order a second one.
One on the bed, one in the cupboard for while the other is in the wash. It is the difference between a blanket you like and a system that never lets you down on the wrong night.
One for the bed, one for the cupboard
A second blanket adds $27 to your order.
Regular price $150 each
One on its own is $90. So the second one costs $27. That is the whole upgrade
- One stays on the bed while the other one dries
- Never the wrong night, never a scramble for a towel
- Take one in each colour, or two of the same
2 year leak proof guarantee. 30 night trial. Free shipping.
Plain, unmarked packaging on every order.
One last thing from the founder
You will not think about it again after the first night. That is the whole point.
I did not set out to build a company. I set out to stop stripping the bed at midnight, and the answer turned out to be sitting in my living room under a dog. If any part of this sounded like your house, you already know whether you want one.
See the Love Blanket ProWith love,
Monica, Founder of Love Blanket
Advertisement. Written by the founder of Love Blanket. Reviews shown are from verified customers and are reproduced as written. Prices and availability are correct at the time of publication.